about humiliation....
Ok, so I’m hoping someone can help me here....
As a dominatrix both in real life and on phone, I’ve come across men who have wanted to be humiliated. I’ve not come across any women who have, although my experience with female subs in both worlds is much more limited.
As a female submissive myself, I have wanted to be subjugated, even degraded at times, but humiliation has never entered into the situation. Humiliation implies a mocking, or belittling attitude of the one who humiliates, and above all I wanted to be taken seriously. Even after being used hard, I wanted mostly to be told and shown how much I was loved and cherished.
And obviously my masters understood this. I’ve never even had a master who tried to humiliate me. If he had done so, he might have ended up missing a set of testicles.
Some of you may be thinking that "Oh well, Aunt Ruth, she puts up Uncle Bob making fun of her. He’s even hit her on occasion, and she deals with it." That is not BDSM, at least as I know it. That is abuse. BDSM is a controlled dynamic between two consenting adults. Abuse is not consented to, and it is not controlled, as it can easily escalate. If you doubt this, check the statistics on women that die by the hands of a significant other.
So humiliation in BDSM by definition implies that the sub wishes to be humiliated. My question is why? I’m very good at doing it, without a doubt. Any female past the age of 15 probably is. I just would like to know why men like it, and why it seems to turn them on. The men I’ve asked don’t seem to know, but of course they’ve had no blood in their brains at the time :-P
If you have an answer for me, please email me at bnicolesbitch@yahoo.com and let me know your thoughts.
posted by Mistress Nicole @ 6:48 PM
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Hello MS Nicole:
Well, I can hardly speak for myslef, let alone all (fill in the blanks here). But can trace my yearning for humiliation as a sexual desire to my first foray's into crossdressing.
I found myself drawn to, fixated even, on women's panties. They began to enter my masturbatory world, and soo the need was great enough that I started "borrowing" moms, and later, sis's things.
This felt wonderful... the anticipation, the "hunt" the trip back to my room, and finally, the act of wearing and cumming!
But I could not fool myself - I had been told by society that this act was WRONG! I should be (and was) ashamed of myself. Thus... I was completely turned on... and yet also humiliated by the situation.
Now this was my early teens (maybe younger) and this association between sexual joy and humiliation and self hatred eventually led to the "Forced Fem" fantasy as this allowed me to experience what I really wanted (femininity and women's clothing) but it relieved me of the responsibility, and thus guilt and remorse.
Why does this not happen for women? It probably does... so many fetishes, so little time... but perhaps it ismore due to the way boys and girls are socialized to the world. I truely believe we are very susceptible in uour youth to these kinds od 'triggers' during our times of sexual exploration... hence so may abused become abuser, as a non sexual (for some) example.
Well... just one Bee's thought!
BBBBUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZ
-SissyBee
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